Artist One-on-One Interview with João Delfim

João Delfim (@circus_of_my_mind) is a Paris-based visual artist, art director, and poet originally from Porto, Portugal. We are very inspired by his artist book projects and below, 10 BOOKS 10 COLORS caught up with João to discuss his artist book projects, his inspiration by Ryan Phillippe, and popular culture references.

Kyu Watanabe: Hi João! Thank you so much for taking the time for this interview with me. Recently, I received two of your artist books « I Would Recognize Those Abs Anywhere » and « Blow Me: Poems for Posters on a Wall ». I was impressed by the quality of your artist books. I’d love to know about the making process of each book. Let’s start talking from « Blow Me: Poems for Posters on a Wall ». Where did the idea come from?

João Delfim: Thank you for having me and for your interest in my work, I appreciate it very much! « Blow Me » is the first installment of a collection of zines. It is meant to celebrate the experience of gay arousal through on-screen fiction, so cinema and television.

For this particular one, I was very inspired by the cut-out and collage aesthetic from independent publications in the eighties, as well as the punk movements of the time. I’m at a point in my life where I feel confident and proud of my sexuality and have also come to understand that it is strongly tied to my creativity and need to create artwork. Having come to that conclusion, I wanted to go back to the roots of my identity and understand the journey I had made. The first step was identifying my awakening moment.

 

That’s what « Blow Me » is all about, honoring the moment of awakening. For most queer people, it is a very confusing experience when it happens — since it can take place quite early in your life when you’re a teenager or even before that. It took me more than fifteen years to finally look back at that moment, identify it, and praise it. It was only last year, that I was thinking about past experiences and remembered ‘Cruel Intentions’! And by doing that, I was inspired to write a few poems — which is something that I’ve been doing for some years now — that ended up being the heart of this publication. I perceived the whole zine as conversations and declarations of love and lust to this image of a superstar — embodied by Ryan Phillippe — that I wish I could have expressed at the time. So that’s what the zine is about.

KW: Wow, so the project is very connected to your personal memory and your identity. It’s a very personal project. Do you have any personal memories of the film ‘Cruel Intentions’?

JD: Having been born in 1997, I was only two years old when ‘Cruel Intentions’ premiered, so I didn’t experience the phenomenon in real-time. I ended up watching the film in secret, I think around ten years later, so it wasn’t a period in which the movie was being spoken about. I remember it being a Sunday morning, I turned on the living room TV, while my parents were still asleep, and there was this movie I had never heard of, that was about to start. So it was really a coincidence that I stumbled upon this particular picture! And watching Ryan Phillippe — whose work I had never seen before — play the character of Sebastian left me with the most confusing set of sensations. I felt such thrill and excitement but also somehow shame or like I was feeling something wrong, but couldn’t understand why at the moment — we should remember that I was around ten years old at the time! Honestly, there wasn’t one specific scene that I remember vividly from that first watch, I just remember being completely infatuated by Ryan’s character.

KW: Yeah I can imagine. 

JD: What’s funny is that now that I’ve created the zine, I re-watched the movie multiple times and I know a lot of scenes almost by heart, having used stills from the picture. But, from that first memory, I just remember Sebastian’s face very vividly, I don't remember any scene in particular. Only the image of Ryan’s character stuck with me.

KW: The character played by Ryan Philippe is not a nice guy, he is like evil and he tried to destroy an innocent girl. So more like his appearance was inspiring to you?

JD: Exactly. The movie has such a specific story, that should be looked back at in the context of the time when it was released. To create the zine, I honestly removed him from the film’s plot and tried to isolate the concept that he represented for me — which was that of the source of one’s sexual awakening.

 

 

KW: Now, let’s talk about your other book project « I Would Recognize Those Abs Anywhere ». Where did the idea come from?

JD: Well, as I was thinking of what could come after « Blow Me » in this collection, I started reminiscing on the early manifestations of desire I’ve experienced and on the meaning of homoeroticism. It was only as an adult that I could understand what that word meant, but I believe that as a teenager I was looking to find that more than ever, in the things I watched or read. I was constantly looking for images of that desire for the male body I could not express freely. 

 

In the last five years, I’ve learned a lot about homoeroticism from reading gay authors, such as Edmund White, Oscar Wilde and Jean Cocteau. But, in my late teens and early twenties, the images of desire I was able to collect in my mind were coming from the films and television series I would watch. Television productions such as ‘Riverdale’ or ‘American Horror Story’, both created by gay directors, are some of the first memories I have of feeling desire for the male bodies I would see before me on-screen, while already knowing I was gay.

The title is actually a direct quote from ‘Riverdale’, which is a very fun, campy and over-the-top teen drama, full of homoerotic depictions of the male body. 

« I Would Recognize Those Abs Anywhere » comes from an idea of celebrating the visuals that spark a desire within us, collecting them in a very intimate-sized booklet, that we can easily keep to ourselves.

KW: Yeah, it’s a tiny-sized book.

JD: Well, that size felt to me like a way to signify that, while discovering your sexuality, images of desire are usually things that you keep to yourself, as your own little secret, that you can hold close to you.

KW: Oh wow! Is that why you chose the cover like this? It looks like a notepad and then you open it it’s so surprising!

Yeah, right, I wanted there to be an effect of surprise! Both the cover and the back are pairs of hands, that could be either hiding what’s inside but also, in a more playful interpretation, feeling the bodies that lay inside.

KW: Amazing! The book has very special printing. Did you get these images captured from a screen?

JD: Yes! From watching all of those shows, came the idea of celebrating those visuals that spark desire in you. So I collected all of them, then reframed and edited the screen captures, to finally make them come together inside this little booklet that you’re holding in your hands.

KW: The original images should be in colors but all images in the book are black and white and printed on blue paper. 

JD: Right, I wanted the ensemble to feel very dreamy, hence the choice of light blue paper. Also, you usually don't see the face of the character depicted, and the lighting is quite dark, so it almost feels like a daydream.

 

KW: The book has a very homo-erotic mood but also feels of strong repressed sexual desire. What was your goal to achieve visually in this book? 

JD: Well, for a long time, as a gay teenager and young adult, I was forced to first oppress, then hide my desire for other male bodies. As are many Queer people growing up, I was afraid to come out, mainly because of the reaction I anticipated from the people closest to me. This book really reminisces on a time of sexual discovery and excitement, but also a time when all of that had to be kept from prying eyes. That’s why I believe there’s a feeling of repression to it, and why I choose only images where the male bodies are clearly represented in an erotic way, but there are very few interactions between them.

KW: Yeah, those images are almost single bodies.

JD: Exactly! In reality, it was a time when I could dream of intimacy but thought I would never be able to experience it — which was gladly untrue, but felt almost like a life sentence back then.

KW: When I touch your artist books and open the pages for the first time, it feels like an art piece. There is so much attention to detail, and aesthetics in the entire book, the paper, images, and fonts. I know they are handcrafted and printed by yourself. Tell me about your artist background and how you started making artist books/zines.

JD: Thank you for noticing and I'm very glad that you enjoyed the books! The creation of both of these artist books was an important shift in my creative process. I came from a background where I had been doing a lot of Printmaking, especially etching and linocut, but wanted to find an alternative way to create, that would be new to me, as well as more accessible to everyone who’d like to get a copy: that’s when I started wondering about creating my own zines.

I’ve been passionate about books and book design since my teenage years and was always drawn to the cut-out, copy-printer, black-and-white aesthetic. The choice of certain papers, colors and fonts are some of the more satisfying moments for me when I’m crafting a project because I believe that our experience when discovering a book or other printed artwork is first influenced by all of these elements.

Although I had been inspired visually by zines before, I had never actually created my own and « Blow Me » was the starting point of what has become one of my main focuses this year: creating a collection of handcrafted artist books on the experience of discovering one’s sexuality. Of course, I’ve drawn firstly from my personal experience as a gay man, but have also taken into consideration the other stories that I’ve been able to collect in my entourage.

 

KW: Is there any artist you are influenced by?

JD: To be honest, my biggest influence is Cinema and Television. When I’m able to connect with a movie or series, I become very attached to it, to its characters, to its world. On-screen fiction has always been my safe place and I think that’s why it inspires me so much in my artwork the artists that most inspire me would be some of my favorite movie directors, but also its directors of photography, set designers, writers, and actors. 

I love to see exhibitions of visual artists. I know a lot of visual artists as well because of being in Paris and having an art school. I like to share that experience and talk about those things. But I think that in the end, movies are really what inspire me.

I could say that among my most watched films is John Greyson’s ‘Lilies’, which is to be a cinematic masterpiece from the late nineties. ‘Cruel Intentions’ and  ‘Studio 54’ of course and also the less-well-known gay drama ‘Like It Is’ from New Zealand director Paul Oremland. Television series are also a big part of what I’ve drawn from in my zines, especially the earlier seasons of ‘American Horror Story’ and the fantasy-horror drama ‘Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’ by gay director Roberto-Aguirre Sacasa. 

KW: I know you are based in Paris. Tell me about the artist community in Paris. 

JD: There’s a very wide artist community in Paris with so many smaller groups inside depending on what art form you’re closest to. In terms of zine making, there are a lot of great artists coming up with very creative ways to express themselves through independent publishing and we all come together annually at this erotic art book fair, called the ‘Paris Ass Book Fair’ at the Paris Museum for the Contemporary Arts, to showcase the diversity of independent creative the city holds. I've been participating for three years now and I've met a lot of people who do zines as well that's kind of such a great moment during the year to get together and know what everyone's been doing so it’s a delightful moment!

KW: What do you like about living in Paris?

JD: Paris is such a big place for the arts! What I love the most is the access I have to cultural places and events, from exhibitions to fairs, concerts, and more. Though life is not easy in a big expensive city, there’s definitely an upside when you’re working in the arts and getting inspired! 

KW: Great! Do you have any upcoming projects?

JD: Yes, I do have some exciting things coming up. As I’ve told you, both these artist books are part of a wider ensemble, and I’m currently working on the two follow-up books that will conclude this creative phase.

The third volume, which will be out this fall, will be called « Hydrotherapy », and plays on the idea of having to navigate negative reactions, comments, or outside looks after coming out as gay. It will be based on a collection of bathing and shower scenes from television series, in which, this time, male characters will interact with one another; but there will be a sense of danger spreading throughout the pages, culminating in a tragic ending. I don’t want to say more about it, but I’m excited to put this one out there and see people’s reactions. It’s quite playful in the way it’s made and could be an interesting piece for horror fans. I'm gonna be releasing for in time for Halloween.

KW: That’s perfect!

For the final volume, which should come out at the very end of the year, I’m still keeping details under wraps for the moment, but it will be something very special, a sort of full-circle moment for me looking back at how this journey started. I can say that it will focus on the movie '54' and will be a full-on celebration of homo-eroticism and Queerness!

KW: That's amazing. I'm so excited and I definitely need to see your upcoming books as well. 

Yeah, I will keep you updated as well!